His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize