omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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