We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
