We're like a lot better than the average bears
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The power of my boobs compel you
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
