My nipple is on Facebook.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
