i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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