How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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