she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
