so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
