its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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