Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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