kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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