I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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