i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
