I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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