Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
