Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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