dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
