People in love make me want to vomit
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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