Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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