Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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