How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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