I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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