How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize