win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
my liver is dry heaving
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
