i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
