wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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