If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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