there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
