Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
