Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
