Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
