Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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