giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i came on her dog
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
