I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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