I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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