I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
