i permit you to call me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
