i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
