Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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