I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize