my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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