The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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