Soap is not a condiment
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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