I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
