We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
