First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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