How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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