I can tuck mytits in my pants
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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