would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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