fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
