When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
