how can u be prego again
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
