If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
