Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
