But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
