Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
