Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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