Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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