were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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