I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
