Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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