I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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