All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize