Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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